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Some things are meant to be read… I felt this at the time ...

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The thing I like most about having a dorm room is that I have a peep hole.… Sep. 1st, 2005 @ 01:11 am
I can see when people are outside my door looking at my message board. So I’ll run over to the peephole and look at people’s funny round faces through the fish eye vision.
On my mean days, I will fling the door open and scare people who are trying to read other peoples notes to me.

Only hope… Aug. 17th, 2005 @ 05:17 pm
My family is praying for me to make some friends…
What depresses me is not the fact that I haven’t made an immediate best friend…
But rather the fact that my family has to pray (for me to make friends.)

I am now at my college… Aug. 14th, 2005 @ 07:00 pm
My dad says I’m “beginning a new chapter in my life.”
My life must one day be a book or memoir.
Lets hope for a happy ending...
Music: : The future's not ours to see...

Direction --------------> Jul. 2nd, 2005 @ 04:02 am
Sometimes I encounter people who have no hopes, dreams, or aspirations in life. I wonder where did they go or were they ever really there ? How can a person have no idea or thought of what things they want to do in life ?

In two years I’ll be twenty…. Jun. 15th, 2005 @ 11:49 am
You are only as old as your feel. I feel 50.
I am young and I don’t have any of life’s answers.

Is becoming older and more mature merely being more flexible? Jun. 14th, 2005 @ 07:59 pm
When I was a kid I never ate nasty vegetables or used public restrooms.
Now that I’m older and supposedly more mature, I eat pizza with tomatoes and black olives, eat salads, drink milk, and use public restroom when necessary.

College advice I’ve received so far : Jun. 1st, 2005 @ 12:05 pm
Don’t flaunt the things you have because that will give people motive to steal from you.

There are an abundance of idiots out there. Don’t hook up with any of them.

When you go clubbing make sure you
1. Don’t go alone
2. Never wonder away from the group
3. Don’t accept drinks from strangers
4. Never leave your drink unattended
Latest Obsession:: What do people think I'll do?

Burnt out and discontent in my best and worst high school year. May. 15th, 2005 @ 12:23 pm
I have this great feeling of discontent. High school is almost over and I feel I have achieved nearly nothing. I did not excel in academics, or community service, or sports, or band, or UIL, or student council, or even socially (if that’s considered excelling.) I didn’t do things parents or teachers are proud of but more importantly I didn’t do much I could be proud of for myself.
I didn’t make a movie, or a magazine, or write a screenplay like I wanted to. I did finish some art work but the only things its doing now is sitting in my room collecting dust. It has no use if people don’t see and enjoy it.
My senior year was the best and the worst. The best because I met Ramsey and the worst because I realized I had no real friends at all just petty acquaintances at school who are more then willing to slander my name all over the school. Ramsey is the only one who made my year bearable.
So I leave high school burnt out with no awards, friends, or great achievements. My life isn’t over yet but I have to make college 1 million times better. I have to finish my plans.
I hope high school isn’t’ a reflection of the rest of my life.
I can’t let it be.
Latest Obsession:: Slightly Depressed
Music: : I understand why they say high school never ends…

Selfish of Selfless May. 15th, 2005 @ 12:09 pm
Being friendly is actually selfish if you just want everyone to like you.
Being a friend is more personal because it is genuinely caring about other people.
Latest Obsession:: Neither

If you lived here you'd be home now. May. 15th, 2005 @ 12:07 pm
I love the feeling I get when I have had a terrible, exhausting, worst day of my life. All I want is to get home and I when I finally get there I crawl into bed and think "I’ll never leave again!”
Inevitably I leave just two hours later.

I want to be masking tape because … May. 15th, 2005 @ 12:04 pm
Its not black , not white, but close to it.
It doesn’t leave a residue behind and doesn’t cling to or rip what its attached to.
Masking tape is safe.
Safe for art and painting.
Latest Obsession:: Strange

My uncle told me to … Feb. 1st, 2005 @ 06:37 pm
Just use common sense although its not that common…
when driving.
Latest Obsession:: Puzzled

I need to know... Jan. 24th, 2005 @ 09:35 am
Is college a rude awakening for most people or is it just the same old bullshit as high school?
Latest Obsession:: Pleas let me know.

I write my best when I feel bad ... Jan. 19th, 2005 @ 06:56 pm
My happy writing is cheesy and mediocre and cliché.
So when I writing entries I think are amazing understand that I am sad and happy at the same time. Happy that I am sad and able to write things I enjoy and be happy.
Latest Obsession:: Hopefully Sad
Music: : I’m in love with my sadness…

I believe I heard this in 21 Grams: Jan. 10th, 2005 @ 05:01 pm
The more there is to think about the less I know what to think.
Latest Obsession:: Slighly Concerned
Music: : What's going on I don't know what is right or wrong...

Inertia creeps moving up slowly… Dec. 16th, 2004 @ 07:12 pm
Problems are all around us just waiting for the worst moment to creep in…
Latest Obsession:: Waiting to fail ...
Music: : The devils plead their case to take from you what they need.

No one is waiting for me to fail... Dec. 16th, 2004 @ 07:01 pm
Not all of anything is easy.
Music: : Nobody said it was easy Oh it's such a shame for us to part

Being a female is great because people do not expect much… Dec. 5th, 2004 @ 03:58 pm
The only things girls are expected to do:

Be nice
Be emotional and moody
Go to college
Get a mediocre job
Get married
And have kids if possible

I believe I can achieve all these things.
Music: : No one is waiting for me to fail My will could sail Yeah

My aunt said: Dec. 5th, 2004 @ 03:56 pm
It should be a sin to consume your food faster then it took to order and receive it
Latest Obsession:: Fatass

Amuse me… Dec. 5th, 2004 @ 03:52 pm
I can’t stand when a person is the only one who laughs at their own joke.
Music: : Smile like you mean it ...

Will I find eternal sunshine ? Nov. 28th, 2004 @ 02:56 pm
I am not sad and I am not depressed but I am scared:
I am afraid I have nothing to look forward to.
I am afraid people do not mature.
I am afraid awkwardness is forever.
I am afraid there are simple pleasures but very few grand delights.
Maybe none.
Latest Obsession:: Fearfull
Music: : And I need your loving like the sunshine

I could use 30 dollars right now… Nov. 11th, 2004 @ 05:48 pm
I was thinking just today in the shower that if each person got back all the money vending machines had ever stolen from them they would get easily $30-50 each. Think of all the times a vending machine ate your money, or gave you incorrect change, or kept your change, or kept your snack…
Latest Obsession:: Like a thief in the night…
Music: : Don't steal what's mine...

My favorite thing in the world is memories... Nov. 1st, 2004 @ 11:32 am
The other day Ramsey said:
Material possessions are important only because they bring back memories.
Only in my mind can I transcend both time and space.
Music: : I am a traveler of both time and space…

I’m not sure how to define myself or defend my actions… Oct. 31st, 2004 @ 09:25 am
I think it depends on my mood, circumstance, and surroundings as far as people and places.
This sounds too vague… let me continue:
I act differently all the time to the point where people can not tell when I am being serious and when I am joking. Certain people expect me to act a certain way and I don’t mind sometimes but why do I always have to be in a particular state of mind all the time?
If my tone of voice changes people think I am pretending to be someone else.
Latest Obsession:: I’m not like this all the time
Music: : That black cloud over my head has not always been there...

After listening I wondered… Oct. 24th, 2004 @ 10:00 am
What kind of thoughts can a junior high student articulate ?

You‘ve reversed my emotions… Oct. 14th, 2004 @ 06:36 pm
When I am angry, frustrated, or struck with tragedy I become excited and jittery wondering what I should do. I can’t sit still. When I am happy I am calm and quiet. I even look sad. I think its because when I am happy I am content.
Latest Obsession:: I’m just happy Clem.
Music: : Violently happy because I love you…

Tell me your biggest secret… Oct. 10th, 2004 @ 09:36 pm
Before I get involved with people I wish I could know everything bad about them, all of their secrets. If I could get over all the bad aspects I could deal with them and move on to searching for and appreciating the good.
Music: : And now I see you in a beautiful and different light…

My biggest sickness… Oct. 6th, 2004 @ 07:50 pm
Always having the desire to fall and be in love.

Oct. 5th, 2004 @ 08:52 pm
Blessed are the flexible for they shall not be bent out of shape.

Porcelain are you wasting away in your skin? Oct. 4th, 2004 @ 11:40 pm
My hand is bruised and it looks like I’m rotting. It is getting worse instead of better.

Purpose: Oct. 4th, 2004 @ 11:38 pm
Online journals are for complaining and bragging. That is it. I like to believe I am bragging about my supposedly original thoughts.

The saddest song… Oct. 3rd, 2004 @ 12:56 pm
I hate being around people when something bad has happened. I never know what to say or do. I don’t have any real comfort to offer. Most of the time I feel I have no experience in the situation.
Funerals are reality checks. Once you see a dead body you can no longer go on pretending someone is still living but away or asleep. Also, if you weren’t’ sad about the death, you would be after the funeral.
The government should restrain murderers and serial killers and force them to attend their victims funerals. That would make then feel about the things they have done.
A funeral is the only party you can attend without a gift.

Whenever I re-watch movies I fall in love all over again… Oct. 2nd, 2004 @ 12:36 pm
I bought and saw ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND again and it is by far one of the best movies I have ever seen.
Director Michel Gondry is phenomenal.
I suggest that everyone see that movie at least twice.
Latest Obsession:: I'm Just Happy
Music: : And I need yoor lovin' like the sunshine...

Don’t wash your dirty clothing in public... Oct. 1st, 2004 @ 11:28 pm
Why do people hang their underwear outside to dry on the clothing line?
Who wants to show everyone their underwear and get rough outdoor smelling underpants when they are dry?
I saw a clothing line with nothing but about seven pairs of women’s underwear hanging on it.

Angie told me… Oct. 1st, 2004 @ 11:23 pm
Whatever makes your fro grow.

I have also heard:

Whatever floats your boat.
Whatever pops your shutter.
Different strokes for different folks.

Thank you for sight, even if it only sees the past… Oct. 1st, 2004 @ 11:22 pm
How do you describe color or light to a blind person?
Can you feel color or taste it?

Perpetual Yard Sale Oct. 1st, 2004 @ 11:20 pm
My neighbor has a perpetual yard sale going on. On her fence in in her front yard. I wonder if she actually makes any cash. She must or why would she continue? One say before its too late, I will buy something from her
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